Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | February 22, 2014

When Progress Toward Your Goal Seems Painfully Slow!

The only antidote is to learn Every Day Confidence. At this point, a few questions flash before you. That voice inside your head chimes in:

* ” How do I get to that place?”

Obstacles feel overwhelming

Road is bumpy.

* “How badly do I want to accomplish this?”

Hassles and effort too great

* “Am I going to keep acting like a spoiled brat?”

Expect to breeze through life

Things should simply fall into my lap now. I’ve worked hard!

* “Why can’t I be patient?

* Am I willing to do whatever it takes to reach my goal?

Ah ha! The million dollar question. Now what?

When we see progress, it is easier to remain confident. But during those times of simmering, of letting things come together, like happens with the flavors of a fine gourmet sauce, we start questioning and second guessing everything: the process, the whole idea, and invariably our own capabilities.

Then back to the above questions. The key ideas become getting beyond being overwhelmed, and deciding to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Those things can happen only as we allow Consistent Faith in our higher Self into the mix. Then we can practice being confident in all things, with Help from above.

 

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Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | February 8, 2014

What? The Olympics!

Ah! The Olympics!  What is the magnet that draws us to our television screens to witness event after event, for two plus weeks?

Simply put, perhaps it is this:

* The majesty of what  people from all over our world, regardless of race, creed, or color,  can do with the physical strength of their bodies and the talents that God has given them.

* Their willingness to surrender to that inner urge calling them to give their “all,” to become among the best at what they do.

* Our desire to share in this extraordinary global experience, thus expressing something all we humans hold in common.

I invite you to think on these things. Make them your own. And ENJOY!

 

 

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | February 1, 2014

What Are You Doing To Change It?

* Are you in the middle of, or contemplating, a significant shift in your circumstances?

* Do you have increasing anxiety about your future?

* Are you bummed out about growing older?

And most of all

* Are you satisfied/experiencing fulfillment with your life?

If you feel that little lump of fear rise within you as you consider the above questions, DO Not Nurture It! You can find peace:

* Sit quietly, or go for a walk. If you sit, you may close your eyes or gently gaze at something neutral. If you are walking, let your eyes move at random about, not focussing on any particular sight.

* Breathe slowly and deeply. Move your abdomen out, then your chest, on the inhale. Relax those areas on  the exhale.

* Now it is time for you to embrace and ponder these words: “Help me to see this differently.”

* Continue the above attitude of mindfulness for about fifteen minutes. Then let yourself feel grateful for this short break.

As you go about the rest of your day, notice any thoughts that come to mind about whatever was bothering you. Is there a difference? Can you begin to form an Action Plan from these thoughts?  What are you going to do to CHANGE IT?   

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | January 24, 2014

How to Attract Positive Relationships

Affirmations are in the same family with setting goals, but, because of how the brain works, they are vastly more powerful.

                           “As I, Elizabeth, reach out with warmth and love, others respond.”

      This is my all time  favorite affirmation, because I have had enormously amazing results whenever I use it. You can too.  I have gotten phone calls from forgotten acquaintances, met people who became significant in my life, found new friends  when I had moved to a new place or felt disconnected from others, and I’ve even mended old grievances with this one affirmation used at different times.  The reason I think it works is because it’s just thrown out into the universe with no strings attached as to what a certain individual has to do. Also, most importantly it served to shift my attitude to attract others. People have simply popped out of the woodwork, because I opened my mind to possibilities.

For anyone not familiar with the term, an affirmation is a statement about something you want to happen, stated as follows:

* Using the first person, and designating your name

* Written in positive, explicit language

* Usually stating a time frame for it to take place (by specified date, “today,” “NOW.”)

* With no dependence on another person, or any conditions

They may be written on 3×5 cards or Post-its and placed in places you can see and read them during the day, like on your mirror, or desk, or calendar. Another way to use the card is to tuck it in a pocket or purse, and whenever you have a couple of minutes, take it out and read it and reflect deeply on the words. Do this several times a day. The third way affirmations may be done is to write them on a sheet of paper at least ten or more times. Kind of like when we had to write a hundred times, “I will not talk in school.” (Or maybe you were not as compelled as I was to socialize when classes got dull in junior high.) The repetition impresses it into the mind, which programs it into your belief system, and thereby the energy you put out into the Universe.

Prepare to be blessed!

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | January 17, 2014

Being Heard

What do you usually do when you have a disagreement with someone? Are you one that struggles to make your case, stumbling over words? Or do you just stay silent, smiling and nodding when you really want to scream? Or , perhaps you go to the other end of the spectrum and find yourself in the middle of an ugly scene, with yelling and profanities poisoning the air. Or do you just storm out, leaving the issue , only to have it raise its ugly head at yet another time? So how is the “usual way” working for you?

If this sounds familiar, there are some simple alternatives that help greatly. One technique is called “the broken record technique.” Remember the old 45s and 78 records? How when one of those records got scratched, it would skip back and repeat the same phrase over and over again? When you have trouble calmly expressing your thoughts, and you want to get another person to understand what you’re saying, the broken record approach can help. It requires some forethought, so you may need to say to whoever is involved, “Excuse me. I can’t think when I get upset like this. I need to think about it a bit.”

You can set a time to resume the discussion at a later time, or just say “Hold that thought.  I’ll be right back.”

What you do is think of a short, succinct sentence or phrase that expresses exactly what you want to say in this type of situation. When you have the capsule phrase well in mind, practice saying it to yourself, then go back and continue the conversation. Open by saying something like, “I’ve thought it over and (insert your capsule thought here).” Then STOP—say nothing else. The other person will come back with all the counterpoints. When there is a pause, you simply repeat your capsule and remain quiet. Let them talk, but don’t—no matter how compelled you feel to say more—get sucked into any discussion. Say only your capsule. After a few rounds of this exchange, the other party will finally be talked out and get the message. This is finally the point when you will see what it feels like to be heard. It’s pretty damned nice!

The thing is, it cuts short the process where each party goes on and on, repeating what has already been said and making no progress.

Shortly after I learned this technique explained in an assertiveness class, I had a chance to use it. I had some work done on my car, and according to some friends, the guy had significantly overcharged me. With one friend’s help, I composed a sentence stating what similar garages charged for the same job, and that I wanted a refund of the prevailing difference. By design, I arrived late in the afternoon the next day when people would be arriving to pick up their repaired cars. Sure enough, the small, cluttered office was crowded with customers. I waited my turn to speak to the manager and delivered my capsule, “You charged me X amount more than the job costs in other garages around here. I need for you to refund me the difference.”

He retorted in a slightly irritated tone, “Ma’am that’s our standard rate.”

I didn’t miss a beat, in a low, well-modulated voice, “But you charged me X amount more than this job costs in other garages around here. I need for you to refund me the difference.”

“Ma’am, I can’t help what other places charge. This is my price. I have overhead, and that is a fair price.” His voice ratcheted up a couple of notches.

Calmly, I restated my two sentences, “You charged me…”

By that time other customers were turning to see what was happening, not because my voice was raised, but because his was. Most likely, they were wondering what this burley guy was doing to this poor little woman. As the hum of conversation in the office quieted, the manager glanced around at the querulous faces staring back at him, and quickly sized up the scene. A few moments later I had my refund.

I have used the “broken record” many times in the years since and taught it to a number of people, but the technique has never given me such elated satisfaction as it did that afternoon. I realized for the first time, I could make myself heard—in a reasonable way.

Try it, you’ll like it.

Excerpted from my book  –  Climbing Mountains When You’re Over the Hill  –  Available on Amazon.com

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | January 9, 2014

That “Something” That Guides Us

Patrick Henry, has been often called “the Father of the American Revolution”, because of his “Give me liberty, or give me death” speech during the heated debate at St. John’s Church in Richmond, Virginia. In that speech he said, “I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided.”

Today I heard an interview of Emma Thompson, winner of two Oscars, one for writer of the best screen play, and one for best actress. The interviewer, Terry Gross, asked how she came up with her ideas for her writing. The reply: “Something just pushes me.”

Something? Yes, it is there. I’m sure we have all felt It at one time or another. An undeniable urge that stayed with us until we followed its bidding toward a good outcome. Then lo, and behold, that act, whatever it was, turned out to be the perfect thing at precisely the right moment.

Coincidence? I think not.

There are many modalities out there which enhance our ability to connect with that Source:

* Meditation

* Various  imagery exercises (being still and imagining a particularly wonderful scenario, soothing color or place)

* Getting in the “zone,” as many athletes and performers often describe

* Prayer

* Any form of focussed attention, when you’re contemplating one thing to the exclusion of everything else.

It takes practice to go into this mode on purpose, but there are times when it just happens.

Pause, and think back to when this occurred for you. Plan for a time each day to have some quiet time by yourself and get in touch with the Something. Call it what you will . . .  The Lamp, The Creator, God.   It is there.

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | January 6, 2014

Keep Going!

Every year we celebrate the dawning of another calendar year. With it, we associate certain traditions: parties ranging from rowdy to quiet gatherings; special  performances and entertainment of every description; an excuse to get totally wasted; fireworks; and, of course, the crafting of resolutions for the coming year. That moment at midnight of New Year’s Eve heralds the opportunity for “a new beginning.” We tell ourselves, “I am going to become a new person,” in this or that way.

Biological science tells us we already renew our bodies constantly by the process of cellular degeneration and synthesis. Simply put, we are always in a new beginning. In fact, now we know that brain pathways can be retrained, or rerouted to replace the function of  damaged body parts by practicing physical therapy techniques. In this same way, habits and personality traits can be changed by choosing and practicing a different way of being.

So, new beginnings happen every moment. Our choice makes it whatever it is.

What is your choice this moment?

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | December 21, 2013

Experience the Universal Power

There is a creative, healing Power in the universe. It dwells in everything that is, and It is all connected.

All the major religions adhere to this principle. Simply put:

Buddhism teaches Karma, that all we think, say, and do has consequences.

Islam has a word that is continually used by its believers, “In sha Allah,” which means, “If God wills it.”

The followers of Zen believe the universe has a harmonic force that, if we surrender to it, our lives will be peaceful and productive. (In present day vernacular, “go with the flow.”)

And so on . . .

Christianity is the faith I’m familiar with, because of my heritage. so I will use the Bible as my reference.

“ I will seek and save that which was lost and bring back that which has strayed, and will bandage the hurt and the crippled and will strengthen the weak and the sick. But I will destroy the fat and strong,who have become hardhearted and perverse: I will feed them with judgement and punishment.” Ezekiel 34:16

“ For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost.” Luke 19:10

So, what do you think? and What are you doing in your own life?

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | December 17, 2013

My Latest Adventure!

          I’m back after a brief suspension of my blog. As you might have noticed in your own experience, it can happen.  Something quite unforeseen came up to interfere with my schedule .   .   .  These past weeks have been almost like a dream. Two experiences of a lifetime occurred. 

I went to Hong Kong!

 Now in this world of instant everything, viral social media, and increasing opportunities for space travel, this might sound pretty ho-hum. But there is something you don’t know about me that I hand’t really wanted to share that with readers, for fear no one would ever take me seriously again. I just turned 80 years old. (You might have heard, our culture doesn’t value anyone over forty-five.)

 I’ve been mulling this over for a few days. I came up with this: The name of my blog is “It’s Never Too Late.” What kind of hippocracy would it be if I pretended I was young? As it is, I can say with absolute assurance, Hey Guys, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE! In fact, I love being old. Why not? Every day is Saturday when you’re retired. Also, I get a kick out of rolling around international airports in a wheelchair. Have you ever noticed how  they whisk us blue hairs right up to the front of the security and customs lines? Well, we do deserve it, you know. We’ve paid our dues.

 So what came up that was so important that I suddenly and willingly spent 21-23 hours in transit TWICE in 12 days? It shouldn’t be too hard to guess, it had to do with a grandchild. Oh, yes. I got an Email invitation from my grandson, who lives in HK, to his induction into the Judiciary System Of Hong Kong, China with a luncheon to follow. Finally, after university, law school, and several years of post graduate work, he is ready to practice law on his own. I HAD to be there. His parents and brothers went to his wedding last spring. I wasn’t able to go. I couldn’t miss this!

 I got an Email from another grandson saying, “Gammy, did you know they live on the side of a cliff?” If you’ve ever been to HK, you know what I mean. Actually, I did pretty well with the inclines. Of course, they were very patient with my slow pace. 

 I have just this to say, it was everything I hoped it would be, and more! A gift from our Creator.

 This is another example of what can happen if we are open to possibilities, ask for and follow the Universal guidance that is available to all of us, and proceed with Love.      

Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | November 25, 2013

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD IS . . .

Relationships.

We all have them. Whether or not we want them, people constantly come in and out of our presence. Some briefly, others for extended periods or often, and still others for a lifetime.

The world bombards us with distractions: choices ranging from fast food or the latest fashions to exciting career opportunities, job skills, and the trappings of success. We can find it easy to become so absorbed in all the world has to offer, we ignore the nurturing of our relationships with others.

It has been said, “A Relationship is like a flower. You must  cultivate and nourish it, or it will die.”

Through relationships we form our world view, our values, thoughts and feelings about ourselves, and those around us.

Think for a moment and journal:

  • What relationships (friends, family, acquaintances, neighbors, boss, co-workers, God, and others in your life) are the most important to you?
  •   How do you feel about each of the relationships in your life? Using a scale from 1-5, rate each one, considering enjoyment, positive/negative influences, or whatever qualities you choose that are important to you.
  • What thoughts come to mind about all the above?
  • Are there relationships that need work?
  • Are there relationships you want to nurture and keep close?
  • Were there some you want to change in some way?
  • Did you notice relationships that are destructive to your goals or to Who you want to be?
  • Which ones enhance/support you toward your goals and Who you want to be?

– Now –

Think and journal what actions you might choose to take regarding the relationships you listed. Enjoy the process. Sink into it as you would into a cozy lounge chair.

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