Posted by: Elizabeth Turrentine | September 9, 2013

HOW TO KEEP THE PEACE WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS: FAIR FIGHT RULES

Many of us go through life as though it were a contest. My ex husband, the skipper of our sailboat, used to say, “Whenever there are two sailboats, it’s a race.”  A winner and a loser. I invite you to give that some thought. Remember, “some people would rather be right than happy.”

Do you have to be right in order to have self worth?   .   .   .

The answer is NO

Do you deserve to be heard?  .   .   .   The answer is YES.

Rule number one in my list of Fair Fight Rules is: Fights should be held in order to REACH A SOLUTION, not gain a victory.

The rest are:

  1. The basic outline of a fight should be: a) State your gripe

b) Suggest some alternatives

c) Reach a solution

2.  You Cannot Refuse a Fight.  If something is important enough to one, it is worth fighting over.

3.  State your gripe in the form of a request, not a demand. Make it a POSITIVE request.

4.  Fight about One Thing At a Time.

5.  If the fight is a question of fact, then You Should Get The Facts.

6.  If the fight is a matter of opinion, You must realize that a compromise is the only solution.

7.  Don’t Play Psychologist. Don’t try to tell others what they are thinking or why they are doing something. This covers    the most important rule: Don’t Assume!

8.  Don’t Try To Mind Read. It’s impossible, so ask instead.

9.   Don’t Play Archeologist. Don’t dig things out of the past; stick to the present gripe.

10.  If your opponent states a point, you Must Respond to it before you make a new one. Answer Questions Directly.

11. Don’t Make Speeches. State your point, and let the other person answer.

12. No Name Calling.

13. No Emotional Blackmail

14. You can state your gripes about Behaviour, Not States of Being.

15. Go Back To Rule Number 1, And Never Forget It.  Fights Should Be Held To Reach A Solution, Not Gain a Victory!

 

Author Unknown (But I like the way that person thinks.)

 

Just remember, when all else fails, agree to disagree.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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